dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
