I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
