you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
My feet surprised me
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
