we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
