I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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