just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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