I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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