So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
