I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize