pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
You can't special order awesome
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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