I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
