We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
