Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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