he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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