Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
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