I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
