No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
