I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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