Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
