we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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