Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
