Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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