if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
