i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
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