Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
