How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
