Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
