let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
