I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
