saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
