you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize