Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
