she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
