Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
