i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
