I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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