i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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