So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
