He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
