I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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