I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
