FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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