I can feel you judging me through the phone.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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