I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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