i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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