Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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