how can u be prego again
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
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