I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
