I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
