I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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