There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
