I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
