I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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