I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
NoShamevember. You game?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
