So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I have fence marks all over my body
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
