he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
