Too much gin, very little bucket
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
