I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
