i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
