no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
