Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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