you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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