I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
