U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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