No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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