I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
