i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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